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<\/p>\n<\/div>You think politics is partisan these days? You ain\u2019t see nuthin\u2019. Big Three truck owners make the Senate floor sound like an afternoon tea social. Invite three in-laws who own a Ford, Chevy and Ram for dinner and ask them to debate pickups.<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll wish you had stuck to Trump vs. Hillary.<\/p>\n
There will be broken furniture, gouged eyes and bruised feelings. Call 911, but then be very afraid the ambulance isn\u2019t a Ford, Chevy or Ram, lest the war start all over again.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know where these loyalties come from. Maybe they start at birth like religion. I was born Presbyterian, will always be a Presbyterian. Once a Ford guy, always a Ford guy. My neighborhood truck expert, Pickup Bob, is a Ford F-series guy. Show him a Silverado or a Ram and he\u2019ll circle it with interest, considering strengths and weaknesses like a New England fan comparing quarterback Brady to Ryan, Rogers and Stafford. But would he trade his for theirs? Dude, are you mad?<\/p>\n
Which brings me to this week\u2019s tester, the 2017 Ford F-250 Super Duty. The biggest, baddest heavy-duty truck that anyone has ever introduced.<\/p>\n
This thing is, to quote The Donald, huuuge. I\u2019m 6-foot-5 and can\u2019t see over it. The truck lists at 6-foot-8 but feels taller. It dwarfed the Cadillac Escalade (which shares its steel frame with the Chevy Silverado pickup) that I was also testing at the time. When Mrs. Payne (who needed a full mountain-climbing harness just to get in) and I headed out to the movies, we chose the Escalade simply because I feared the F-250 might not make it into the theater parking garage (it would have barely cleared the 6-foot-10 entrance).<\/p>\n
The F-250, of course, wasn\u2019t built with movie night in mind. Based on the already supersized, all-new-for-2015 F-150 light-duty<\/a>, the six-inch-taller Super Duty shares little brother\u2019s revolutionary, all-aluminum skin and robust steel frame \u2014 but beefs it up to tackle the daily chores apparently expected of a heavy-duty these days. Like mulching The Henry Ford, fording Lake Michigan, towing the space shuttle.<\/p>\n The aluminum body shaves 350 pounds off the last-generation heavy-duty, but that\u2019s well shy of the 700-pound savings in the F-150 due to extensive strengthening of the F-250\u2019s steel skeleton. The fully boxed frame gets nine cross-beams and 95 percent high-strength steel. Sir, need help pulling your tank out of the mud?<\/em><\/p>\n When mated to the F-250\u2019s preferred (60 percent of sales) 6.7-liter, V-8 turbodiesel \u2014 with a redonculus, class-leading 925 pound-feet of torque \u2014 the fortified F-chassis can pull 32,500 pounds in dually, F-350 trim. My single-rear wheel tester was rated at 18,000 pounds. That\u2019ll do.<\/p>\n And like Superman, Super Duty has a handsome face to go with the buff bod. So well received has been F-250\u2019s \u201cdouble I-beam\u201d grille that the F-150 has adopted it for its mid-cycle, 2017 refresh<\/a>. Little brother has also adopted the heavy-duty\u2019s letter stamping on its rear end.<\/p>\n Beauty is more than skin deep. My Platinum F-250\u2019s interior won\u2019t be mistaken for Donald Trump\u2019s apartment, but its liberal use of fine materials make it a luxurious office for anyone. There was wood trim, silver accents and so much leather that I half expected a raucous, animal-rights protest. For all the fancy frocks, the interior\u2019s blocky style is male butch with two-by-four arm rests and Lego-block console cut outs. There are no swoopy lines like that Escalade. It looks like Patriot tight end Gronk modeling Dior.<\/p>\n I\u2019m a sports car guy, but I get why truck guys get all sweaty around heavy-duties. Like supercars, modern trucks boast eye-bulging performance numbers, yet are remarkably compliant daily drivers.<\/p>\n After adapting myself to the F-250\u2019s ride height (Hey, I can see in the second floor of that office building!),<\/em> I found colossus remarkably comfortable. The diesel clatter is a distant roar given extensive sound-proofing, the heated\/cooled seats fit like BarcaLoungers \u2014 even the leaf-sprung, solid rear axle jounce was contained.<\/p>\n My friend Scott saw the F-250 and sank to his knees. A businessman, avid outdoorsman and Ford partisan, the diesel F-250 is his dream truck. The behemoth is a Brobdingnagian Swiss Army Knife for his every need. It\u2019s a rolling office, family camper, fishing trip vehicle, farm implement. Given the cost of my Platinum F-250 \u2014 a cool $77,600\u00a0\u2014 he could use its palatial confines as a second home.<\/p>\n What has always distinguished Ford for truck guys like Scott is technology, and my F-250 Platinum doesn\u2019t disappoint. Like its car and crossover cousins, Super Duty is available with everything shy of self-park assist (parallel parking still requires a tugboat). There\u2019s adaptive steering, blind-spot assist, SYNC 3 infotainment system with Apple CarPlay and Android Auto smartphone<\/a> capability, 360-degree camera, trailer-hookup guidance and dual-zone climate control. Innovation doesn\u2019t need a chip, either \u2014 the pickup box comes with the F-series\u2019 clever BoxLink Cleat tie-down feature.<\/p>\n