I mean, even Porsche can\u2019t make<\/a> a car jacked a foot in the air feel like a Porsche. There\u2019s no denying physics. And stick a fifth door on anything and it\u2019s going to look like a box. There are some lovely beaks out there, from the Maserati Lavante\u2019s trident grill to the Mazda CX\u20199\u2019s sunny smile. But you\u2019ll never hear anyone talk about a ute\u2019s gorgeous glutes. Or curvy hips.<\/p>\nSUVs are from Mars, sedans are from Venus.<\/p>\n
For those who want beauty and athleticism in a large vehicle, there will always be sedans. Sedans may be down and out on dealer lots, but their inherent grace and feminine lines are still the benchmark for automotive style. Speaking of down and out, two rejuvenated old brands are turning heads this year with stunning full-size sedans that bookend the luxury segment: The entry-lux 2017 Buick LaCrosse and top-of-the-line 2016 Jaguar XJL.<\/p>\n
With its stunning, much-copied lines, the XJL has helped re-establish Jaguar as luxury\u2019s premier beauty. At the cheaper end of the lux menu, the LaCrosse manages to rekindle the spirit of the era when Buick wowed the world with designs like the 1954 Wildcat.<\/p>\n
Few will lament the passing of the old LaCrosse. Heavy, arthritic and bulbous, it did little to shake the brand\u2019s reputation as a purveyor of land yachts. Happily, however, Buick caught the SUV wave at just the right time, riding the fresh Enclave and Encore to sales glory. Buick has dominated the small-ute class with the perky and innovative Encore. That\u2019s right \u2014 I just used innovative, dominated and perky in the same sentence as Buick.<\/p>\n
SUV success has given the sedans a chance to get their act together and the all-new LaCrosse doesn\u2019t disappoint.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s the first GM product built on the Epsilon II platform \u2014 E2 for short \u2014 and like other new GM platforms from Chevy and Caddy, it\u2019s been hitting the gym. E2 lost 150 pounds from its predecessor, part of a 300-pound diet that has made LaCrosse a fit 3,650 pounds. Leaner and meaner, the lower-by-1.3 inches, more athletic-looking LaCrosse gained 2.7 inches in wheelbase, 1.3 inches in width.<\/p>\n
Combined with a new five-link rear suspension (usually found in more upscale lux athletes like BMW) and a torque-vectoring, GKN-developed, dual-clutch all-wheel drive system (usually found in track-tuners like the Ford Focus RS), the LaCrosse delivers superb handling for a big car.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s startling, really. Like those Snickers commercials starring Betty White, it\u2019s as if your granny\u2019s Buick ate a candy bar and transformed into a 200-pound football player. Or, more appropriately in this case, a 200-pound lacrosse middie. Compared to class competitors like Lexus ES350 or Nissan Maxima, the Buick is more aligned with Maxima\u2019s athletic DNA.<\/p>\n
Over curvy Route 47 northwest of Portland, Oregon, I found the Buick fun through the twisties (fun and Buick \u2014 in the same sentence!), rotating with minimal body roll before putting the 305-horse, 3.6-liter V6\u2019s hammer down. Try that in the boaty Lexus and you\u2019ll get seasick.<\/p>\n
But the real achievement of the LaCrosse is that\u2019s it\u2019s turned the clock back and made Buick pretty again. Buick actually rented out space in Portland\u2019s artsy Pearl District to show off her curves.<\/p>\n
Dash lines are sleek \u2014 check out the chrome bezel under the console that runs uninterrupted from instrument panel to passenger door. Out front, Buick\u2019s winged grill \u2014 first seen at the 2015 Detroit Auto Show on the Avenir concept \u2014 accentuates the car\u2019s lower, more horizontal lines. Those signature, old-school, boat-worthy Buick portholes? They have mercifully been demoted from the hood to aft of the front fender wells. The new Buick is all about wings.<\/p>\n
The Buick even has Jaguar-esque lines. The LaCrosse\u2019s coupe-like roof line, cat-eye headlights and full-mouthed grille echo the English cat. Initial design sketches even contained similar rocker panel chrome to the XJL (scrubbed in the final version, perhaps for cost).<\/p>\n
To get the full Jaguar effect, it\u2019ll cost you. About double the LaCrosse, actually.<\/p>\n
The elegant $89,820 (as tested) XJL is the biggest, sleekest cat in the Jaguar litter. It\u2019s the stretched version of the lovely, full-size XJ sedan introduced in 2012. Like Margot Robbie in heels, the XJL\u2019s long proportions make it looked even sexier, tapered roof flowing into sleek haunches.<\/p>\n
The Jaguar gets the expected royal-lux touches for 2016 \u2014 \u201cdouble-J\u201d daytime running lights, doors that suck close, rotary dial rising out of the dash at ignition. In practice, the Jaguar\u2019s simpler dial blows away the LaCrosse\u2019s finicky monostable doo-hickey. Yet Buick holds its own, even providing clever sub-console space that the Jag lacks, though to be honest I was so transfixed by the Jaguar\u2019s front and rear camera system (giving you a bumper\u2019s eye view of the road fore and aft while driving) that I didn\u2019t mind its lack of Apple CarPlay\/Android Auto. That popular feature comes standard (ahem) not only in the LaCrosse, but in entry-level compacts like the Chevy Cruze.<\/p>\n
Beauty has its drawbacks, and the Jaguar\u2019s rear visibility is dreadful compared to the Buick. Interestingly, in China, where big sedans routinely come with a driver, LaCrosse\u2019s rear seats get Jag-like touches with heating, cooling and a shoe shine (and I\u2019m making that last one up).<\/p>\n
Stateside, though, the Jaguar XJL\u2019s back seats are a world unto themselves. Lounging in diamond-quilted soft leather, passengers get their own window-blind controls and their own moon-roof controls.<\/p>\n
Dah-ling \u2014 let me know when we have arrived at the club. I\u2019ll be sunbathing on the back deck.<\/em><\/p>\nYet the driver\u2019s seat, like the LaCrosse, is a place to get your heart racing. The Jag is a 340-horse-drawn AWD locomotive.<\/p>\n
Jaguar has lately gotten into the SUV game with the F-Pace, a fat cat that will ring up profits like a cash register on wheels. But no matter how successful Jag and Buick SUVs, their flagship cars will turn your head. Long live the sedan.<\/p>\n
2017 Buick LaCrosse<\/strong><\/p>\nSpecifications<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\nVehicle type:<\/strong> Front-engine, front- or all-wheel drive, five-passenger sedan<\/strong><\/p>\nPrice:<\/strong> $32,990 ($48,575 AWD Premium as tested)<\/strong><\/p>\nPower plant:<\/strong> 3.6-liter V-6<\/strong><\/p>\nPower:<\/strong> 305 horsepower, 268 pound-feet torque<\/strong><\/p>\nTransmission:<\/strong> Eight-speed automatic<\/strong><\/p>\nPerformance:<\/strong> 0-60 mph, 6.0 seconds (Car and Driver); top speed: 145 mph<\/strong><\/p>\nWeight:<\/strong> 3,840 pounds (AWD as tested)<\/strong><\/p>\nFuel economy:<\/strong> EPA 21 mpg city\/31 mpg highway\/23 mpg combined (AWD as tested)<\/strong><\/p>\nReport card<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\nHighs:<\/strong> Sleek Buicks are back; road-hugging, AWD handling (that\u2019s not a misprint)<\/strong><\/p>\nLows:<\/strong> Clunky monostable shifter; how about a sport version?<\/strong><\/p>\nOverall:<\/strong>\u2605\u2605\u2605<\/strong><\/p>\n2016 Jaguar XJL<\/strong><\/p>\nSpecifications<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\nVehicle type:<\/strong> Front-engine, rear- or all-wheel drive, five-passenger sedan<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\nPrice:<\/strong> $74,400 base XJ ($89,820 XJL as tested)<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\nPower plant:<\/strong> 3.0-liter, supercharged, dual-overhead cam V-6<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\nPower:<\/strong> 340 horsepower, 332 pound-feet torque<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\nTransmission:<\/strong> Eight-speed automatic<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\nPerformance:<\/strong> 0-60 mph, 5.1 seconds (Car and Driver); top speed: 124 mph (governed)<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\nWeight:<\/strong> 4,397 pounds (AWD as tested)<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\nFuel economy:<\/strong> EPA 17 mpg city\/25 mpg highway\/20 combined<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\nReport card<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\nHighs:<\/strong> Timeless beauty; posh rear seat<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\nLows:<\/strong> Infotainment average; blind spots the size of Wyoming<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\nOverall:<\/strong>\u2605\u2605\u2605<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The heck with big sport utilities. Those breadboxes on wheels have taken over our automotive kingdom. Boxy and brawny, they have become Americans\u2019 vehicle of choice. Don\u2019t get me wrong, I get it. Their utility is undeniable. They efficiently swallow families and their stuff. They give soccer moms visual command of the landscape. They assist […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,87],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19035"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19035"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19035\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19036,"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19035\/revisions\/19036"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19035"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19035"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19035"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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