M3 represents<\/a>\u00a0the Bavarian marque in world sedan racing. Will tomorrow feature fender-banging SUVs around Belle Isle? Heck, if NASCAR can race pickups …<\/p>\nI took the X5 M on a road trip to Autobahn race track outside Chicago where I compete in purpose-built race cars with some motorhead mates. In an open track session, I took the M out and turned a 1 minute, 43 second lap at an average speed of about 72 mph \u2014 just five seconds off the production car track record held by a 2008 BMW M3 (and seven seconds quicker than a friend in his new Alfa Romeo 4C).<\/p>\n
This isn’t your ordinary grocery hauler.<\/p>\n
“We have to beat 1.43 or we’re slower than an SUV,” I joked to my pals back in the paddock, the Bimmer immaculate behind me (happily, we were all well under 1.30 seconds).<\/p>\n
Thanks to its sports suspension and X-drive AWD system, the X is manageable enough in the corners \u2014 before the real thrill arrives when its twin-turbos kick in on the straightaways. But off track the big German is more docile dachshund than demonic Doberman.<\/p>\n
Unlike the snarling M3 and its brooding visage, the boxy X5 M doesn’t flaunt its athleticism. The car looks more ox than thoroughbred. Its proportions are massive \u2014 accentuated by BMW’s choice of a large greenhouse for good driver visibility. The upright front end comes with a snoot-full of radiator cooling gills that would make a Great White shark jealous, but the M isn’t really menacing until you round the big rear end where fat, 12.8-inch tires and four pipes protrude. You’re different from the other kids aren’t you, Clark Kent?<\/p>\n
But the double-barrel pipes are muted. Where the M3’s twin-turbo BRR-A-A-PP will send the dog scampering under the bed when you press the starter button, the X5 M is more subtle. A pleasant HUMMMMRR fills the air even as the ute’s blown mill gains two more cylinders and nearly half-a-liter over the sedan (4.4 liter V-8 vs. 4.0-liter V-6).<\/p>\n
This predator is on you stealthily. Just a ground tremor and you are breakfast.<\/p>\n
Indeed, the first impression of the X5 M is more opulence than menace. Its interior is like something out of a Vegas penthouse.<\/p>\n
Red leather extends from door to door. Mugella red leather. Like someone dumped a can of red paint through the sunroof. This interior will make the $1,000 Louboutin shoe crowd go wild (and they certainly won’t blink at the M’s $115,000 price tag). My wife shied from an interior that looks like it was designed for Bally’s showgirls. But the whisper-quiet rear seats roll out the red carpet with their own individual temperature and vent controls.<\/p>\n
Cruising along I-94 in a six-figure chariot, I expect to be pampered with luxury accessories like rain-sensing wipers, heads-up display, and lane-keep assist. But just because you can afford them doesn’t mean you want them.<\/p>\n
The lane-keep was so intrusive \u2014 sending a shudder through the steering wheel even when I changed lanes \u2014 I switched it off. Save the $1,900 “Driver Assistance Package” and buy her some Louboutin pumps instead (or two).<\/p>\n
The X5 comes with the M’s familiar performance sleeve boasting EFFICIENT, SPORT, and SPORT PLUS settings which tunes engine response. But wait, there’s more. An M DRIVE 1 or M DRIVE 2 setting \u2014 at the push of a button on the left steering wheel spoke \u2014 allows you to pre-program vehicle settings from seat position to ride handling.<\/p>\n
These tweaks are found buried in the car’s dash screen \u2014 accessed by the notoriously annoying, console-mounted rotary iDrive BMW developed over a decade ago. The system has improved with time; I found this to be the most workable rotary dial amongst German luxe-makers that insist on such goo-gaws.<\/p>\n
Otherwise the console is nicely shelved with cupholders in front of the electronics where a soda spill won’t cause mayhem (ahem, looking at you, Audi) with the e-shifter or starter button. And the large phone holder is a rare automotive nod to the new reality of oversized Samsung Note 3 or iPhone 6 phones.<\/p>\n
In short, the M fulfills its promise of MORE without sacrificing X5 luxury.<\/p>\n
Misbehaving on track I sucked down a day of Texas oil reserves \u2014 a mighty 9.1 mpg. But back and forth from Motown, the big beast’s diet was a healthy 20 mpg. Pair that with a 22.4-gallon tank and you can ride this bull a long way. The beast’s brakes seem to defy physics: Its huge vented rotors and discs stopping the 21\/2-ton heifer cold. With no fade. Lap after lap.<\/p>\n
I hope BMW’s mad scientists continue to refine their Frankenstein. I haven’t even begun to explore this all-wheel-driver’s winter-time possibilities. Throw on a set of Blizzak winter tires and the earth-pawing, AWD beast should make an easy transition to winter. Imagine lurid, four-wheel drifts on icy roads. Or a Bond-like chase of snowmobiles down an Alpine mountain. Sounds absurd, I know.<\/p>\n
But so does a 1 minute, 43-second lap around Autobahn.<\/p>\n
2015 BMW X5 M<\/p>\n
Vehicle type:\u00a0Front-engine, all-wheel-drive, five-passenger sport utility vehicle<\/p>\n
Price:\u00a0$98,700 base ($115,450 as tested)<\/p>\n
Power plant:\u00a04.4-liter, twin-turbo V-8<\/p>\n
Power:\u00a0567 horsepower, 553 pound-feet of torque<\/p>\n
Transmission:\u00a0Eight-speed automatic with steering-mounted paddle shifters<\/p>\n
Performance:\u00a00-60 mph: 4.0 seconds (manufacturer); top speed: 155 mph (governed)<\/p>\n
Weight:\u00a05,260 pounds<\/p>\n
Fuel economy:\u00a0EPA 14 mpg city\/19 mpg highway<\/p>\n
Report card<\/p>\n
Highs:\u00a0Red leather interior; earth-moving power<\/p>\n
Lows:\u00a0Red leather interior; iDrive idrives me nuts<\/p>\n
Overall:\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What is this BMW X5 M? A Frankenstein monster from mad Bavarian scientists? A weaponized vehicle from Q’s lab for the next James Bond film? A cyborg from a future earth where sedans are extinct and pro drivers race SUVs? Like Dodge’s 707-horsepower Challenger Hellcat, the\u00a0567-horsepower X5 M\u00a0is proof automakers have a sense of humor. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,87],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16851"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16851"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16851\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16852,"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16851\/revisions\/16852"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16851"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16851"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/henrypayne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16851"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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