Payne: Hammer down in Rolls’ first, three-ton, umbrella-shod SUV

Posted by Talbot Payne on October 21, 2021

The SUV has officially taken over the automotive landscape. Rolls-Royce has introduced its first ute.

The Cullinan is the zenith of SUVs. The uber ute. Super luxury comes standard. Starting at $335,350, the Rolls (named after the largest diamond ever discovered, which now resides in the British Crown Jewels, naturally) checks all the usual boxes: imposing road presence, enormous grille, big-displacement engine, palatial interior, Spirit of Ecstasy hood ornament.

Rolling through Charlevoix’s Venetian Festival at the peak of tourist season in northwest lower Michigan, my 17½-foot-long, Galileo Blue land yacht — with 22-inch wheels and laser headlights — dutifully turned every head on Bridge Street.

Short of the president’s limousine rolling through town, there are few vehicles — Lamborghini Aventador, Bugatti Veyron — with a Cullinan’s presence. Rolls is automotive royalty.

But Cullinan also arrives at a transformational moment in the automotive market. In the early 21st century, luxury is defined as much by electronic innovation as the traditional benchmarks of craftmanship and pulse-quickening power. Mercedes has been supplanted by Tesla as the must-have luxemobile with its electrifying acceleration, Autopilot self-driving ability, and over-the-air updates.

My Cullinan straddles old school and new school.

What it leaves out is as telling as what is listed in its laundry list of features. In many ways, Rolls’ evolution to the SUV seems only natural — even belated — given the brand’s origins as a high-riding chariot in the early 20th century. Rolls’ breakthrough, 1907 Silver Ghost (the longest Rolls model in production) sailed high above the ground on a ladder frame.

It famously, reliably traversed India’s brutal Ghat mountain passes, becoming the cross-country vehicle of choice for maharajahs. In World War I, Lawrence of Arabia tore across the Sinai Peninsula in armored Silver Ghosts blowing up the Ottoman Empire’s Hejaz Railway.

Like its forebears, Cullinan is powered by a monster mill, this one a 592-horsepower, 6.7-liter, twin-turbocharged V-12. That’s comparable to the 7.0-liter 6-cylinder engine that propelled the first Silver Ghost — but with twice the cylinders. No electric drivetrain here. Impatient Rolls customers want to be punctual on their drive Up North — not sit in Walmart parking lots (gah!) recharging batteries.

Despite a gas-guzzling 14 mpg, Cullinan boasts a healthy 444 miles of range — easily enough for a Detroit-Charlevoix non-stopper.

Turning west on M-32 off I-75, I nailed the beast and it blew through 60 mph in just 4.5 seconds on the way to (speed redacted to protect my license).

“Whoa! That’s a lot of torque!” smiled my friend Jon as the Rolls planted him into the seatback.

Yet, in the hushed Rolls’ cabin, the violence of the 12 combustion chambers seemed remarkably remote. “The running of this car at slow speeds is the smoothest thing we have ever experienced,” wrote Autocar magazine way back in 1907. That hasn’t changed.

The roomy interior of the 2021 Rolls-Royce Cullinan is Old School handsome with a touch of modern digital tech.

What has changed are the oily bits — augmented by modern electronics — connecting that mighty engine to the ground in Rolls’ first all-wheel-drive vehicle. Big SUVs from the Cadillac Escalade to the Ford Explorer ST are incredibly stable these days, and Cullinan is state of the art: rear-wheel-steering assist, double-wishbone front and five-link rear suspension, air suspension, aluminum chassis.

Tipping the scales at more than three tons, Cullinan never felt tippy through M-32’s twisties, the SUV rotating nicely despite the V-12 boat anchor up front.

Yet, for all this mechanical sophistication, the Rolls is light on 21st-century electronic wizardry. For a brand that built its reputation as a chauffeur of queens and kings, dare I say the Cullinan is a driver’s car?

The $46K Ford Mustang Mach-E I tested days before runs rings around the Cullinan when it comes to digital tech. The Mach-E’s spare, Tesla-like cockpit boasts a 15.5-inch screen, wireless Android Auto (and Apple CarPlay) connectivity, multiple drive modes, self-parallel park assist, and self-drive assist. I nearly drove the length of I-75 hands-free in the ‘Stang.

The console shows off classic rotary dials and a rotary dial for the 8-speed transmission.

The Rolls’ sticker is 10 times that of the Mach-E, but wants your hands (or at least your chauffeur’s hands) on the wheel at all times.

In this digital revolution — and with BMW’s engineering (Rolls is owned by the German maker) behind it — Rolls clearly sees the opportunity for a wigged-out, high-tech, autonomous, sci-fi electric vehicle that would put the Tesla Model X to shame. See the retro-futurist 103EX concept.

Friend Jon is ready for the revolution. As we cruised M-66, a Harley blew by us. “Cullinan, vanquish that motorbike!” he commanded. But the big SUV ignored him, cruising happily at the speed limit. The future will have to wait.

For now, Cullinan concentrates its brand on what got it here: British luxury.

On a rainy day in northern Michigan, I pulled a long, black umbrella from the Cullinan’s rear cabinet door to shield my passengers as I loaded them for a drive to Petoskey. Once inside, rear passengers can finger a button on the C-pillar to automatically close the doors behind them.

Rolls' first SUV includes the signature cabinet doors.

“These are the most comfortable seats I’ve ever been in,” commented one, settling into the yellow-stitched white leather seats.

Options abound. There’s the $5,325 picnic tables that drop from the back of the front seats like an airliner. Or the Shooting Start Headliner ($7,800). Or the $15,400 Galileo Blue paint job. The latter was stunning, but also deterred me from taking the beast off road — even as Rolls press materials encouraged fording water up to 21 inches and driving Cullinan “completely off the beaten track to reward (occupants) with life’s most enriching experiences.”

Other options include head-up display and a rear drinks cabinet with Rolls-Royce whiskey glasses, decanter, champagne flutes and fridge.

In brand tradition, Rolls will work with buyers to customize the SUV in any way they choose. Choose timber from your north Michigan home for the dash inlays. Or reproduce your favorite Mondrian art masterpiece. A quick check of the internet finds celebrity Kylie Jenner personalized her Cullinan with an all-pink interior.

My tester’s factory “Black Badge” treatment was striking. Appealing to a new generation of buyers who like everything goth, the Cullinan BB features black window trim, black grille, and most strikingly — a black Spirit of Ecstasy hood ornament.

The latter is a collector’s item all by itself. Rolls is aware of the vulnerability of its winged icon standing on the ute’s bow — and so has made it retractable. Walking away from the Rolls in a Petoskey parking lot, I pressed the LOCK button and Miss Ecstasy disappeared through a trap door.

The rest of the outsized Rolls remained. Loud. Proud. And the summit of Ute Nation.

2021 Rolls Royce Cullinan

Report card

Henry Payne is auto critic for The Detroit News. Find him at hpayne@detroitnews.com or Twitter @HenryEPayne.

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