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Payne: Mercedes-AMG’s fearsome C63 Coupe is a sinister Halloween treat
Posted by Talbot Payne on October 30, 2020
It’s almost Halloween. Need a sinister car to drive the kiddies from house to house?
Well, if you’re Bruce Wayne or someone with similar means, I might suggest the Mercedes-AMG C63 Coupe. In matte black. My family immediately dubbed it the “Batmobile” when it rolled into my driveway this fall — its sinister shade a striking contrast to Michigan’s leafy, orange trees.
Yes, Mercedes. That icon of the establishment has produced one of the most wicked-looking cars in autodom. Brooding front grille. Slit headlights. Growling, 503-horse V-8 engine. The specs on this beast sound more like something out of Dodge’s bat cave.
Honey, our C-class Mercedes has been possessed!
I prowled Michigan in the C63 this fall, spreading fear throughout its northern latitudes.
It’s almost as evil-looking as big brother AMG GT R, the 550-horse racing version that is currently devouring Acuras and Porsches on the IMSA race circuit, with a maw the size of a humpback whale. Compared to the $200,000 GT R, the $106,440 C63 is a bargain.
A product of Mercedes-Benz’s AMG performance division, the C63 S is the alpha male of the three AMG coupes offered, each more capable than the last: C45 (382 horsepower), C63 (469), C63 S (503). And those are just the C-class choices for the two-door coupe! Add three AMG options to the each of the other C-class variants — wagon, sedan and Cabriolet — and you understand why it is so difficult for Detroit luxe brands to compete against the broad Merc lineup.
My tester was a rolling candy store — loaded with every sweet on the shelves. For example:
- Dark chocolate, silver-rimmed 19-inch front/20-inch rear five-spoke forged wheels: $2,100
- Licorice Michelin Pilot Super Sport tires: $600
- Black-night package on wing, mirrors, etc., plus chrome-plated exhaust tips: $750
- Black carbon-fiber package: $1,750
- Candy-corn yellow ceramic brakes: $5,450
And so on. I got cavities just looking at it.
But the real treat is the $2,020 Designo Graphite Grey Magno paint — matte black, for short — that wraps this refugee from hell.
Matte paints have been maintenance nightmares in the past (they can’t be protected by waxing like normal finishes), but Mercedes reassures that current coats “do not require any special instructions for care, other than don’t use abrasive materials on it or let harmful debris like bird dropping linger.”
Bird droppings. Good to know. But I’m pretty sure Bruce Wayne will keep it in his garage.
For all its wicked exterior looks, the GT is a grand touring model that competes with other daily-driver sports cars like the Corvette C8 and Porsche 911. That means cargo room.
Where the mid-engine Corvette (get it in pumpkin orange) offers its frunk and trunk for storage, the front-engine C63 offers a sizable boot and second-row seats. Wee trick-or-treaters will fit nicely back there.
Helping in the process are Mercedes’ magic seats. Just pull the seat-top handle and they silently glide — ghost-like — forward.
Up front, passengers are wrapped — too tightly for my 230-pound, 6-foot-5 frame — in heavily bolstered competition seats. These track-focused thrones are great for pulling Gs, but they grew uncomfortable on my four-hour trip north.
Happily, the interior surroundings are heavenly. Mercedes interiors are the most luxurious in the land, even in AMG monsters. The signature silver aviator vents stood out next to carbon fiber-wrapped console. Instrument and dashboard infotainment displays are rich in graphics, and — when the sun goes down and the goblins come out — interior mood lights can be programmed to change yellow, purple, red.
Indeed, cruise the highway and the C63 aims to please. While not yet equipped with the brand’s latest MBUX voice-recognition software (“Hey, Mercedes, turn the temperature to 70 degrees”), the C63 does come equipped with Mercedes’ steering-wheel-mounted mouse pads so that you can control the twin screens without your fingers leaving the wheel.
The AMG also features the latest in self-driving capabilities. Press adaptive cruise-control, set speed, and the coupe stays nicely centered in its lane. Pull the turn signal and it automatically changes lanes. But you don’t buy an AMG for self-driving.
Roll the drive-mode switch next to the monostable shifter, and Dr. Jekyll transforms to Mr. Hyde. Normal mode changes to Sport to Sport + to Race. With each step the beast grows more demonic.
The chassis tightens. The engine growl gets more menacing. The tailpipes crackle. The long hood grows horns.
On my favorite M-32 stretch of road up north, I unchained the horses of hell.
That’s 503 horses to be exact. In Sport + mode, a quick 8-speed dual-clutch transmission effortlessly swapped cogs. The 4.0-liters of V-8 shook the road, followed by bratty exhaust flatulence as I lifted off the gas for looming curves.
Despite slick asphalt dotted with the first orange leaves of fall, the big AMG stayed planted through the twisties. The steering was direct. The brakes toothy. Body roll minimal. The payoff were straightaways where I could open up the V-8 once more.
Race mode offers the kiddies the additional thrills of launch control, but the rear-wheel-drive Merc was curiously resistant to the idea — the electronic nannies intervening as I laid down the power. The C63 advertises sub-4 second 0-60 mph runs, but I was well shy of that.
Trees up north were turning fiery red and orange — the perfect backdrop to the streaking black batmobile. For $106,000, the C63 comes with an excellent Burmester stereo, but I never turned it on. Like the Porsche flat-6, the engines in the coupe class are music to the ears.
The Porsche’s talent is in its peerless handling, but the Mercedes’ V-8 sex appeal is more visceral. That’s part of the coupe’s charm.
Refined Mercedes is not the first brand that comes to mind at Halloween. But AMG has given the German badge needed personality. It’ll put a smile on your face like a Camaro SS and Mustang GT350. It’s a Detroit muscle-car wrapped in a matte-black German tuxedo.
Mercedes, like other European brands, is investing heavily in electric vehicles, and it will be a challenge to match the personality of AMG’s V-8. Strap in the trick-or-treaters. Empty the neighbors of their candy. Then toggle Sport +.
And let the big dog howl at the moon.
2020 Mercedes-AMG C63 Coupe
Vehicle type: Rear-wheel drive, two-door, four-passenger coupe
Price: $78,495, including $995 destination charge ($106,440 as tested)
Powerplant: 4.0-liter, twin-turbo V-8
Power: 503 horsepower, 516 pound-feet of torque
Transmission: 9-speed automatic
Performance: 0-60 mph, 3.8 seconds (mfr.); top speed, 180 mph
Weight: 3,803 pounds
Fuel economy: EPA 18 mpg city/27 highway/21 combined
Report card
Highs: Hot inside and outside; drivetrain personality
Lows: Heavy; beware bird poop on the paint
Overall: 4 stars