Payne: The comical, drivable Fiat Abarth

Posted by hpayne on June 7, 2015

Abarth_fr

As a wee motorhead cartoonist growing up in the 1970s, my favorite cartoon was not “Peanuts” or “Dennis the Menace” or “Beetle Bailey,” it was Road & Track’s “Cyclops.” Cartoonist Stan Mott’s brilliant, single-headlight, tin can creation (look it up) went into battle against the titans of Porsche, Ferrari, and Lotus at LeMans and Indy and gave me hours of grins. Run by the mercurial, fictional, Italian madman Piero Martini, Cyclops (powered by a 30cc engine running on olive oil) was the ultimate auto underdog.

Meet the Fiat 500 Abarth, the modern-day Cyclops.

The descendent of race cars conceived by mad, Italian genius Carlo Abarth, the Abarth (pronounced “Ah, Bart”) is a Fiat 500 on steroids. A real-life cartoon car. Complete with trademark scorpion badge (Scorpio was Carlo’s astrological sign), the turbocharged, 1.4-liter Abarth adds sting to the cute-but-molasses-slow 500 line. Abarth is the mouse that roared.

Turn the key and the little dumpling’s sport exhaust awakens with a growl. It makes you jump like the dog that explodes in a barking fit when you ring a stranger’s doorbell (then you notice it’s a Pekingese).

Abarth’s bark is worse than its bite. Behind the growl is the same 157-horsepower, 4-banger that inhabits the base Fiat 500X SUV. Sprightly, but hardly top drawer in a class that includes the 189-horsepower Mini Cooper S or Ford’s spicy tamale – the 197-horse, 1.6-liter turbo Fiesta.

Despite its raft of scorpion logos, Abarth won’t sting if stepped on. Stomp the accelerator pedal and the front wheels betray none of the torque steer prevalent on the Ford.

Though not as tight as class-pet Mini, I love the superb, tossable handling. The little ankle-biter’s bulbous shape seems to defy physics. For all its sporty touches – red stripes, scorpions – the Fiat looks like a toy that someone blew up in their garage. It’s as round as a newborn with wide-eyed headlights and a puckered mouth that looks like it should be sucking on a binky.

But this is a bambino with chin stubble. To feed the hungry turbo within, Abarth comes with a bigger air scoop around the front than its normally-aspirated, sibling 500.

Round back the taillights are round, natch. Door handles too. The door-mounted mirrors are blood red. Nice touch. Bright red calipers brake the rotors. Jam them and the little car skitters like a terrier on a kitchen floor.

The ovum theme continues inside where everything is round except the flat-bottom steering wheel (which should be round). The tach. The switches. The temperature dials. Volume controls (though pressed, not turned – weird). A turbo pressure monitor is round. And, new for 2015, an automatic shifter sticks out of a round bowl in the center console like you’re stirring a pasta dinner.

From the 500X ute to the auto Abarth, Fiat is keen about expanding its customer base in the US after a slow start. Authentic, manual-shifting Italian performance is great in theory – until you realize Americans are stick illiterate. “Accessible performance has always been a hallmark of the Abarth name,” said Fiat North American Brand Chief Jason Stoicevich, “Now, with the addition of an optional automatic transmission, an entirely new group of customers is able to experience the thrill.”

Automatic, but with an Italian manual accent. In addition to DRIVE you can move the lever to the southwest corner of the mixing bowl for SPORT. Toggle down for upshifts, up for downshifts. Upshifts are accompanied by a loud BLAAAAT – downshifts by rev matching usually associated with high dollar sports cars.

This kid has more attitude Baby Herman in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit.”

I prefer the manual tranny nevertheless. Nail the throttle and the auto-driven engine will bump its head on the 6-grand redline – a delay not present in the manual. Still, the engine’s perkiness reminds of its potential in the 500X – which inexplicably comes only in an auto tranny. Can’t we all share?

Abarth is a subcompact so the cockpit space is narrow with a handbrake on the floor and armrests the size of pencils. You can smell what your passenger had for breakfast. The seats are cloth, stitched with Italian red. The backseats are small but – thanks to the hatch layout – provide decent headroom and cargo versatility if folded flat.

Load the little Abarth up – Mrs. Payne is thrilled that a subcompact has optional heated seats – and my auto Fiat stickers for $28, 295. That’s a lot of coin for a shoebox. But this is no ordinary shoebox.

It’s a rolling cartoon that’ll make you grin like a kid again.

2015 Fiat 500 Abarth

Vehicle type: Front-engine, front-wheel drive, 4-passenger hatchback

Price: $ ($28,295 as tested)

Power plant: 1.4-liter turbocharged inline-4 cylinder

Power: 157 horsepower, 183 pound-feet of torque

Transmission: 6-speed automatic or 6-speed manual

Performance: 0-60 mph, 6.9 seconds (Car & Driver)

Weight: 2,683 pounds

Fuel economy: EPA 24 city/32 highway

Report card

Highs: A smile-a-minute; Raucous exhaust note

Lows: Gimme the stick; Underpowered in class

Overall:★★★

 

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