Henry Payne Blog

Cartoon: Uber Taxi

Posted by hpayne on August 19, 2014


Cartoon: Sharpton and Ferguson

Posted by hpayne on August 19, 2014


Cartoon: Maliki Obama

Posted by hpayne on August 15, 2014


Class of ’88: The new Cruise classics

Posted by hpayne on August 14, 2014

Woodward Dream Cruises are like high school reunions. We go back to the alma mater every year to meet old friends, retell tall tales, and see if Mary Jo Meriweather is still as hot as she was three decades ago.

On Woodward this year, we honor the Class of 1988.

Now old enough to qualify for historic Michigan plates, the 26th anniversary class featured an assortment of nerds, athletes and timeless beauties. Which models will show up? Which ones should show up? Does that certain curvy creature still turn heads like she did then?

Your humble class auto critic has gone back through my tattered yearbook to sort the losers and leaders. Has anyone become a celebrity like Dodge Challenger (Class of ’71)? Will there be dorks-turned-cool like the Ford Model B street rod (Class of ’32)?

In 1988 Ronald Reagan was president, “Die Hard” was the No. 1 movie, and the Ford Escort was America’s best-selling car. The Ford what?

The auto landscape was almost completely unrecognizable compared to today. AMC was a car, not a TV channel; GM owned Lotus; and sedans still dominated auto sales. The Ford Taurus was the best-selling midsize car in America while the Ford Escape crossover hadn’t even been conceived. Heck, crossovers hadn’t been conceived. Today’s perennial sales king, the Toyota Camry, didn’t even make the Top Ten. Then, only three of the Top Ten sellers were Japanese. Now, only three American cars break the top tier.

So what endures? What I love about the Cruise is its democratic celebration of the good, the bad and the ugly. There are no white-glove, toffee-nosed judges handing out blue ribbons at the end. No wax-sealed invitation letters. No gatekeepers. Every vehicle is welcome.

We come. We see. We appreciate. But we do, um, appreciate some 1988 classmates more than others ...

Corvette, 35th anniversary edition

No Cruise class is complete without a Vette, and 1988 is no different. The C4 was the Big Man on Campus. Though an underpowered 250-horsepower by today’s standards, we coveted its sleek physique. It was Corvette’s 35th birthday — so GM blessed us with a limited, commemorative edition. Known as the “Triple White Corvette,” it’s painted white with white wheels and white interior (including seats & steering wheel). If only Elvis could have driven one in Vegas.

The Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme

The ’88 coupe was Olds’ first front-wheel drive car. Awkwaaaard. But this car was still special. The Cutlass was the first vehicle to feature a heads up display (HUD) — the hologram-like gauge that hovers in a driver’s line of sight. The nifty feature has since spread to Cadillac, Chevy, Hyundai, Lexus, etc.

Ford Mustang 5.0

Nearly shipped off to the glue factory in the early ’80s, the third generation pony car had evolved into a menacing, Top Ten Car & Driver pick by 1988. Shaped like the head on Thor’s hammer, it had a kick to match. While this bruiser won’t win any beauty prizes, its thumping 5-liter heart thrills enthusiasts.

Camaro IROC-Z

While the Z28 took a hiatus, Camaro produced its performance car under the IROC-Z badge from 1988-90. Short for International Race of Champions, the IROC package attempted to capitalize on the popular SCCA showroom stock series to boost flagging sales. “Win on Sunday, sell on Monday” as the saying goes. The result was a weapon packing 350 cubic inches of heat. With IROC-Z emblazoned across its skirt, a snarling ’88 Camaro still awakens goose bumps.

Porsche 924S

The Porsche 924 was a rare Stuttgart belly-flop — an underpowered, affordable sports car that eventually yielded in 1983 to the brawnier Porsche 944. But ... for two years in 1987 and 1988, Porsche dressed the 944 platform in the slipperier, lighter 924 body. Pair a better drag coefficient with 160 horsepower and what do you get? A heckuva sleeper. The resulting 924S was not only cheaper than the 944 (at under $20K), but quicker. Considered one of the best handling sports cars of its generation, the balanced 924S is instantly distinguished from its weak sister 924 by its phone dial wheels. Only 17,000 S’s were made. I sense collector’s item.

Mazda RX7 convertible

Mazda’s rotary-powered Porsche 944 fighter got a facelift in 1986 to look sexier. In 1988, the RX-7 went topless as well. Anything for sales, I guess. For all of its imitation, the RX-7 was a wonderful actor in its own right with superb 50-50 weight balance and that unique Wankel power plant. Mazda racers of that era sounded like a chainsaw cutting through your head. Fortunately, production cars were muffled.

Pontiac Fiero GT

GM’s late performance division’s small sports car finally got its mojo with the Fiero GT, produced from 1986-88. While endowing the Fiero with dramatic mid-engine looks, Pontiac had starved the standard model with under 100 horsepower. The GT fixed that with a peppy, 140-horse V6. Distinguished by its deep front spoiler and rear wing, the peppy GT — alas — came too late to save the Fiero. It passed in 1988.

Audi 5000

While GM shoulders responsibility for its deadly ignition failures, the Audi 5000’s “sudden acceleration” scandal is a reminder that many safety recalls are the result of media and safety advocate sensationalism. The 5000 was framed by a rigged “60 Minutes” broadcast, resulting in a cratering of Audi sales in the U.S. The 5000 was subsequently discontinued in 1988 as the company embarked on the long road back to public acceptance. Absolved by federal regulators and feted by Car & Driver as a 10 Best pick, the 5000 endures as one of ’88’s best sedans.

Buick Reatta

While GM refashioned Buick as a family brand (the once-powerful Regal, for example, had been neutered of its V8 and recast with front-wheel drive), the powerful Reatta coupe paradoxically debuted as a halo performance car in 1988. A fish out of water in a conservative brand, the bland Reatta became a symbol of GM brand chaos. If not a classic, a classic tale of GM’s woes.

Honda CRX Si

This mighty mouse was part of a Honda juggernaut that took the U.S. by storm in the ’80s. From the Accord to the CRX, Honda established a reputation for affordable fun. Redesigned for 1988, the 2,000-pound Si was the terror of the autocross — the era’s favorite pocket rocket after the VW GTI. Equipped with a multi-link suspension, you could ring its neck at a weekend track event — then enjoy 50 mpg on weekday commutes.

There you have it. My short list.

I welcome your own favorites in the Comments section online. Looking back at the ’88ers it’s remarkable how much 1970s federal fuel economy regulations had reorganized the Big Three’s portfolio. We are in the midst of a second federal fuel economy crusade today that could equally transform the landscape a quarter century hence. A turbocharged, 6-cylinder Corvette anyone?


Cartoon: Hillary and Obama

Posted by hpayne on August 14, 2014


Cartoon: Hillary and Obama

Posted by hpayne on August 14, 2014


Just in time for Cruise: Dodge releases hell-raising Charger SRT Hellcat

Posted by hpayne on August 14, 2014

Driving Woodward Avenue this week after the flood you might consider an outboard motorboat or an ark to gather all the Detroit zoo animals. But come Saturday’s Dream Cruise, the sun will be out, and so will the cars. You’ll want something appropriate for cruising with the family.

How about a roomy, 707-horsepower four-door sedan that seats five and does the quarter mile as fast as a Ferrari Enzo?

Dodge has your car. Chrysler’s performance brand rolled out a fire-breathing, 205 mph, V-8 2015 Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat at Vinsetta Garage on Woodward on Wednesday morning to a mob of media. The car will be mobbed by the public as well since Dodge plans to show this bad boy at its 13 Mile and Woodward display at this weekend’s Cruise.

The Charger is the second Hellcat badge for the Dodge SRT after the Challenger SRT Hellcat was introduced earlier this year. Both share the same menacing looks, the same red-tinged leather interior, and the same supercharger which boosts horsepower by a bone-rattling 215 horsepower over the already ferocious V-8 found in the Charger and Challenger R/T models.

Yet the “family sedan” Charger is not only roomier than its coupe cousin — it’s faster. The Charger Hellcat will giddyap down a quarter mile drag strip in just 11 seconds, two-tenths quicker than the Challenger Hellcat. Zero-60? A hell-raising 3.6 seconds, also two-tenths quicker than the Challenger version.

“This car goes where most brands wouldn’t go in this market,” said Dodge CEO Tim Kuniskis whose hot brand is the most searched on the Internet. “Sometimes you need to stop listening to the focus groups. The Charger Hellcat redefines practicality.”

Cartoon: Robin Williams

Posted by hpayne on August 12, 2014


Cartoon: Iraq Strike

Posted by hpayne on August 11, 2014


Cartoon: Un-American companies

Posted by hpayne on August 1, 2014


Cartoon: Hellcat Fiat

Posted by hpayne on August 1, 2014


Cartoon: Deport Elian

Posted by hpayne on August 1, 2014


Pumping iron: The 2015 Dodge Challenger

Posted by hpayne on August 1, 2014

To call the new, earth-shaking 707 horsepower Dodge Challenger SRT the “Hellcat” seems an understatement.

Were there copyright issues with T-Rex, Godzilla or The Kraken?

Dodge executives say the 2015 Challenger standard-bearer is based on the legendary World War II Grumman Hellcat, the Zero-fighter that ruled the Pacific Ocean skies. Dodge’s supercharged maw seems like something dive-bombing from the sky, all right — but more like a ferocious, fire-breathing dragon. I’m talking Desolation of Smaug here — not that cutie in “How to Train Your Dragon.” I mean, you can hear this thing coming with its shrieking, front air inductor before the 6.2-liter hemi blows you off your feet with its huge, 8 inch-wide, rear dual exhaust outlets.

The supercharged Hellcat leads an army of updated 2015 Challengers into battle in the white hot War of the Muscle Cars. Not since these affordable weapons were birthed in the fiery crucible of the 1960s and ’70s have we seen such an arms race.

 Reigning class leader Camaro has added both horsepower and handling to its arsenal with the 580 horsepower ZL1 howitzer and the Z28 cruise missile. Not to be outdone, Dodge’s SRT Hellcat boasts the segment’s most powerful engine ever, adding to an ammo depot that already includes 5.7- and 6.4-liter hemis. And waiting in the wings is Ford with its new, sleek Mustang which finally matches its rivals with an independent rear suspension.

Remember when Planet Washington wanted to save GM and Chrysler so they could build 40 mpg tin cans? Really? Ask the one million faithful at the Dream Cruise this August to name their dream cars. I’m betting the Big Three of Camaro, Challenger, Mustang top the list.

“If you missed the first muscle car era,” says Dodge CEO Tim Kuniskis, “don’t miss this one.”

Kuniskis leads the combined Dodge-SRT regiment in Gen. Sergio Marchionne’s re-ordered army. Dodge is the cavalry. The horsepower guys. The point of the spear. With his natural swagger and passion for cars, Kuniskis would have made the brawling Dodge brothers proud. This guy chews nails for breakfast.

Introducing his steel soldier, Kuniskis barks out details like “Apocalypse Now” Lt. Col. Kilgore: “The Hellcat has 650 lb.-feet of torque. Top speed of 182 mph. Quarter-mile in 11.2 seconds. It’s loud, obnoxious, pure evil.”

The Challenger is unapologetically menacing.

Like the 2014 Camaro, the Challenger’s cowl has been narrowed from the 2008-14 generation. Its deep-set eyes are even more hooded under an extended brow. By comparison, the 2015 Mustang’s Fusion-like grille and swept headlights are softer. Dashing. European. That’s by design as Ford has recast its muscle car as a sports car to broaden its international reach. Challenger, by contrast, is steroid-fed, all-beef, All-American muscle.

Dodge media materials don’t boast of g-loads or drag coefficients. That’s sports car prattle. It boasts of the Challenger’s quarter-mile times. That’s Yankee drag-strip talk.

And the Hellcat goes like stink. So powerful is this beast that it comes with two keys: One black, the other red. Only the red gives you access to the full 707 horses.

Good choice. I mashed the pedal at Portland International Raceway, and ... actually, I didn’t. Never mash a pedal connected to 700 horsepower. Even with measured throttle, this hellion has wheel spin in first and second gears off the line. With a manual shifter, you could spin the rear tires to dust. For more consistent starts, launch control is available. Just 12 seconds later, I was doing 120 mph-plus across the quarter mile.

But where to use such a weapon?

Let’s face it. 707 horsepower is a stunt. A model in hot pants to get folks in the showroom. And at a starting price of $59,995 it will only appeal to a few. Saner minds and smaller bank accounts will find plenty of pleasure in the $37,495, 465 horsepower. 5.7-liter hemi or the $27,995, 3.6-liter base Challenger.

The V-8s have so much torque that they are akin to riding a bull through a rodeo barrel course. By contrast the Pentastar V-6 allows you to master the Challenger’s big chassis. The Challenger is hardly nimble. At nearly 4,500 pounds and that big boat anchor up front, the Hellcat can feel like a rocking horse. Raring to go in a straight line, but nose heavy under braking and nervous in tight bends. Fortunately, the Challenger’s electronic stability control is superb, and the V-6 reduces overall weight to 3,800 pounds — bringing 52-48 balance while still offering plenty of giddyap and a throaty exhaust brap.

Speaking of manners, the updated Challenger has brains to match its brawn.

With electronic steering, electronic shifter and an eight-speed transmission, the Challenger has gained fuel efficiency to go with its bigger biceps. The V-8 options are all less thirsty, and the V-6 boasts 30 mpg on the highway.

The previous-gen Challenger needed an interior decorator. Not the 2015 model. This SRT has been watching HGTV. The new Dodge features soft vinyls and choice details like aluminum bezels that trace the three stylish trapezoids housing the instrument cluster, console and shifter island. The result is a tasteful Dodge interior with a style all its own.

The car’s exterior is also harmonious, simple.

Like its muscle car brethren, the Challenger is respectful of its heritage. Where the outgoing model took its design inspiration from the 1970 car, the 2015 update mimics the 1971 model’s split grille and split tail-light design. But unlike Camaro’s fake side gills, the Challenger eschews ornamentation. Form follows function.

The result is a surprisingly clean, consistent design from base SXT to King SRT. While the Challenger’s 10 trim packages come with a dizzying array of options, a 27-grand V-6 does not look like Megan Fox’s kid sister next to the 60-grand Hellcat. And with its functional rear seat — the two-door Challenger is built on the same platform as the roomy, four-door Dodge Charger. Unlike its tight Camaro and Mustang mates, you can comfortably drive the whole family to the Woodward Dream Cruise.

But when you get there, let them out at Dairy Mart to get ice cream. Then pull out the red key and go light the fires of Hell. You sure this thing shouldn’t be called Nostradamus?

2015 Dodge Challenger

Vehicle type: Front-engine, rear-wheel-drive, five-passenger sports sedan Price: $27,995 base ($59,995 Hellcat as tested) Power plants: 3.6-liter, dual overhead cam 6-cylinder Pentastar; 5.7-liter pushrod 8-cylinder Hemi; 6.4-liter pushrod 8-cylinder Hemi; 6.2-liter supercharged DOHC 8-cylinder Hemi Power: 305 horsepower, 268 pound-feet of torque; 372 hp, 400 lb.-ft. torque; 485 hp, 475 lb.-ft. torque; 707 hp, 650 lb.-ft. torque Transmission: Eight-speed automatic (six-speed manual available with 6.4-liter Hemi and 6.2-liter supercharged Hemi) Performance: 0-60 mph, 3.5 seconds (est.); 199 mph top speed (6.2-liter Hellcat) Weight: 3,834 (V-6) — 4,439 pounds (supercharged V-8 Hellcat) Fuel economy: EPA combined — TBD Report card Highs: Unique, artful interior; menacing good looks Lows: Awesome power that’s unsafe in the wrong hands; stilted handling Overall:★★★★


Cartoon: Kerry Israel Bombing

Posted by hpayne on July 30, 2014


Cartoon: Drone Perch

Posted by hpayne on July 30, 2014


Cartoon: Moses I Tablets

Posted by hpayne on July 30, 2014


Cartoon: Senate Obamacare GM

Posted by hpayne on July 24, 2014


Cartoon: Putin Plane Rogue

Posted by hpayne on July 24, 2014


Henry Payne: Hyundai refines Sonata’s allure

Posted by hpayne on July 24, 2014

My wife’s sofas are littered with pillows inscribed with clever sayings. My favorite: “I know I’m efficient. Tell me I’m beautiful.”

The Hyundai Sonata reminds me of that pillow.

Efficient, affordable and reliable, the Sonata suddenly showed up in 2009 looking gorgeous. We gaped at it. We purred over it. We bought it. Dubbed the YF in Hyundai’s internal nomenclature, the midsize sedan wasn’t so much a sonata as it was a rock ‘n’ roll cantata. With a raked nose, open grill, and deep body creases that resembled hollow cheekbones, the Sonata arrived like Mick Jagger kicking in the stage door and singing “Start Me Up” at a violin recital. The docile, middle-aged, midsize sedan segment gasped. And then, irresistibly, they started to tap their feet. Start me up ... and don’t stop!

“The YF put us on the map in terms of volume,” says Mike O’Brien, Hyundai Product VP for North America.

 Sales of the Sonata increased nearly 50 percent from 149,000 a year to 215,000. What’s more, it was Made in America with 3,000 Alabamans working at three-shift capacity in Birmingham to keep up with demand. But like ambitious musicians, car brands must evolve to stay relevant. Just as The Stones’ lyrics date them, so do the Sonata’s lines. Four years later, Hyundai is back with a new single — and it’s less rebellious, more mainstream.

“The last Sonata got us into the party,” says O’Brien. “The new one gets us invited back.”


A lot has happened since the 2009 model. To be specific, the Genesis happened. No, not the Genesis Coupe, but Hyundai’s sexy, Euro-styled, Genesis luxury sedan (why two different vehicles in Hyundai’s lineup share a name is a mystery). The Genesis moves the Korean brand uptown in the U.S. market. The last gen Sonata’s daring, slashing architecture inspired other, smaller Hyundai drones — Elantra, Accent — to ambush their segments as well.

Now the Sonata steps to the beat of the Genesis. Where the Sonata pioneered Hyundai’s “Fluidic Sculpture” design philosophy, the Genesis sets the tone of Fluidic Design 2.0. The rest of the lineup will surely follow.

The Sonata’s familiar, fluidic design riffs are still in evidence but have been tidied, tucked, trimmed. Like Jagger singing in a coat and tie at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the rebel is now the establishment.

Like the Genesis, the new LF Sonata’s grille is more upright. The deep, racy shoulder lines have been pulled straight. “Fluidic Sculpture 2.0 is more modern, more detail-oriented,” says O’Brien, a former Ford and Toyota engineer. “It’s elevated to a more premium level. If the YF was a big, showy diamond, the LF is a smaller cut of higher quality.”

The conservative upgrade is echoed inside the Sonata’s swept, coupe-like greenhouse. With rolling edges and a slashing, vertical console, the outgoing Sonata’s interior mirrored its loud exterior. The 2015 model is less busy, more harmonious. Piano-black keys and soft vinyl bring premium refinement across an intuitive, zen landscape. Like horizontal seams across a rock face, parallel lines unify the dash. Beginning left of the steering wheel, horizontally arranged driver assist buttons (governing traction and lane assist) give way to an elegant instrument panel. Seamlessly, the eye moves right to orderly radio and climate controls. A horizon of soft vinyl continues across the glove box, you ... are ... getting ... sleepy ... zzzzzz.

OK, so fans of the previous generation may want a little more interior pizzazz. But Hyundai has concentrated the new car’s innovation deeper under the skin.

Like Ford and its Fusion, Hyundai has nixed a V6 from its engine options. Not just banished it. Buried it. With an engine bay designed with only fuel-efficient, four-bangers in mind, the Sonata opens more space for the rest of the chassis to accommodate passengers. The result: the best interior room in class — a yawning 122.4 cubic feet. With the front seat back, I can stretch my 6-foot-5-inch frame to full length — yet the 6-foot-5-inch bloke behind me can still comfortably sit upright, his knees just touching the seat back in front of him.

The benefits extend to the also-roomiest-in-class trunk. Open it and you need a spelunker guide with a torch to find its nether reaches.

Back up, you say. What was that about no V6 option? How are you supposed to lug around all that acreage without upgrading the Sonata’s stock 2.4-liter and 2.0-liter engine options?

Okay, if you’ve come to the midsize class with performance in mind, you might want to keep on walking. The Mazda 6 has more nimble handling. Chrysler’s curvy, all-wheel drive 200 sports a throaty, 295 horsepower, 3.6-liter Pentastar V6 that will better slake your thirst for speed.

Still, the Sonata four-holers — 185 and 245 horsepower, respectively — provide plenty of giddyap. What’s more, you can flog the four hamsters with minimal intrusion into the cabin thanks to the Korean sedan’s superb chassis upgrade. With 40 percent more steel enforcement and a sealed underbelly, the 2015 Sonata barreled over the carriage-rutted roads of Ypsilanti Township with little clatter. Try that in the previous generation YF.

Which leads me to the Sonata’s last clever secret: a turbocharged, 1.6-liter engine offered only in the sedan’s so-called “Eco” trim.

Paired with a seven-gear, dual-clutch transmission, this little gem — combined with my lead right foot — terrorized Ypsilanti while still recording 32 miles per gallon. Yet, the Eco model — in typical Hyundai fashion — comes in at a surprisingly cheap $27,275. Hybrids should shudder at such performance — beginning with $32,785, 38 mpg Sonata hybrid. Do the math.

The crisp, elegant Sonata is a statement that the Hyundai is here to stay. Its bread and butter sedan is a match for anything in the segment — and at a cheaper price with the Sonata $1,200 cheaper on average than key competitors.

Hyundai’s challenges are elsewhere on the menu. The Genesis wants to gain a foothold in the cut-throat lux market while the Tucson struggles to get traction in the red hot, small crossover segment. Indeed, just as Sonata has gained sedan market share, families are moving away from sedans and into crossovers.

The Sonata is runner-up (behind the Chevy Malibu) in JD Power’s Initial Quality Survey. It’s a leader in value. A leader in interior space. Yes, the Sonata is efficient. Just don’t call it beautiful. Handsome will do.

2015 Hyundai Sonata

Vehicle type: Front-engine, front-wheel-drive, five-passenger sedan Price: $22,000 base (Sonata Sport 2.0T $29,385 as tested) Power plants: 2.4-liter, dual overhead cam 4-cylinder; 2.0-liter turbocharged DOHC 4-cylinder; 1.6-liter turbocharged DOHC 4-cylinder Power: 185 horsepower, 178 pound-feet of torque; 245 hp, 260 lb.-ft. torque; 177 hp, 195 pound-feet torque Transmission: Six-speed automatic (seven-speed EcoShift dual clutch transmission with the 1.6-liter turbo) Performance: 0-60 mph, 8.0 seconds (Sport 2.0L, Car & Driver) Weight: 3,616 pounds (Sport 2.0T) Fuel economy: EPA combined 29 mpg (2.4L); 26 mpg (2.0L); 32 mpg (1.6L) Report card Highs: Roomy interior; Competence at every turn Lows: Fluidic dashboard no more; Sport model could use more horses Overall:★★★★

Cartoon: Obama Fundraising

Posted by hpayne on July 24, 2014

order generic viagra buy facebook likes